he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
