We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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