so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
