yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
