i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
