K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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