i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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