If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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