I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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