Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
