I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
