i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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