I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
