I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize