is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
