The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Enjoy the penises
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
