This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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