I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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