you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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