Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
