My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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