i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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