We're facebook friends in real life
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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