i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
