I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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