If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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