he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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