If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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