I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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