i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
