she woke up with a sticky ear
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do herpes really smell.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
