Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
