I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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