Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
