He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
