very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
