I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
