Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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