he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
