we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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