i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
