Sry I called you an 8
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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