this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
