their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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