i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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