why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
