Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
