I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
