holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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