i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
