Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
