If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
