I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
