I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who died my cat blue again?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
