I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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