No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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