Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize