If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
